Alphabet soup for the soul vol.2 –“R”

R is for Regulate

“The emotionally intelligent person is skilled in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions, and regulating emotions” – John Mayer-

Regulating ourselves and our emotions is the key to a healthy mind and happy life.

If we do not regulate our bodies and emotions, we are at the mercy of our minds and happiness, and we will get stuck reacting internally to external circumstances.

If, however, when we get overwhelmed (which happens to almost everyone occasionally), we stop, breathe and regulate our response, that is what it becomes. A reply instead of a reaction.

Daniel Goleman speaks about this eloquently in his book Emotional Intelligence calling it ‘Amygdala Hijack.’

The author says if we feel an ‘Amygdala Hijack’ coming on, we decide how to respond in a second or two. If we regulate ourselves at that moment, we respond with control; if we don’t, we react.

When we react blindly and unwillingly, we say and do things we usually regret.

It is when we are repeating programs from our past, a subconscious rewind of a former time, event or reaction that we are not in control of. The result is that it usually doesn’t end well for us or those around us.

Goleman determines that Emotional Intelligence, or EQ is more important than IQ.

When we notice a feeling we don’t like, such as anger, sadness or fear, our body signals us to regulate. If we do not restrict ourselves right then and there, we react, which is never a good idea.

When we regulate our emotions, we are in control of our response to things that unfold in our inner and outer world.

Responding instead of reacting can require breathing, praying or meditating (even journalling) about something before we react. Still, if we can stop the “amygdala hijack,” we will make better choices, leading to a better life.

As you go through your day today, notice how you respond and react. Awareness is always the starting point!

Click here to read S is for Surrender

Alphabet soup for the soul – “R”